Site Recommendations

Since i haven't posted since February I figured i'd change up the feeling in my blog a bit. Today i'm doing site recommendations, they are websites i'd recommend to check out and if you like stay with them.

1. Treasure Trooper ~ if you want to make some extra money while being at home this is the site to check out, they have a lot of ways to make money there from cash shopping to surveys to cash tasks, plus they have dragons which you can breed in the hopes of getting the $100 dragon.

2. Loving From a Distance (LFAD) ~ Long distance relationship, need advice or tips not a problem this is a site that is dedicated to LDR's, they have forums where you can ask for advice, a list of ideas you and your boyfriend/girlfriend can do together.

Me and my emotions, plus a new gift for me :D

I've been back from Canada since Monday January 31st, i'm only here for a week or so meaning i'm leaving sometime this coming week (I will die if I leave after this coming weekend). As you all may know my ex and I have a complicated relationship, we aren't dating but we both still love and care a lot about each other. We talked about a lot of things the day before I left and one of the things we talked about was each of us finding someone else once i'm back up there and we both agree that right now it isn't what either of us want and just being with each other is what we want and know makes us happy.

So why am I so depressed and feeling like shit when he told me he went to a night club last night and he's at one right now. I don't agree with going to nightclubs and he knows that, he promised me he wouldn't go unless I said it was ok. Well last night he told me a girl came up next to him and danced with him and afterwards, she gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek and left. That hit me like a ton of bricks even though it was in a friendly way it felt like shit. He's at another nightclub and I have no clue what's going on my mind is running wild with all of these thoughts like what if he's dancing with a girl, what if he's making out with a girl or what if he's at home with a girl having sex with her even though he told me none of those would ever happen because he doesn't want it, it just still really hurts me :(.

It's like when I first got home he was really sweet with me and missing me a lot and now he's gone to being cold he doesn't ever call me stephy, tephy or super T (his nicknames for me), he doesn't ever say he misses me or sends me kisses. It isn't helping with how I feel, it's making me feel like i'm not important or that maybe he doesn't care about me when I know that's not true.

I'm just lost with what is going on with him and I wish he would give me an explanation or something. What I really need right now is reassurance that everything will be ok, but i'm not getting that and I honestly don't know when or if I will get it.

Anyways, I've been looking at apartments and my ex went to go and look at one for me on Thursday which was a really crappy apartment so he's going to go and look at another one for me on monday which is exciting I'm hoping he'll like it and get it for me since I have a job up in Canada now.

Now on to the gift for me i got a new laptop today, it's a Toshiba Satellite A665. I actually needed a new laptop because my last one went kaput and won't work for me lol.

Feeling defeated

So i'm completely feeling defeated. I have to leave my best friends apartment by the end of the month and I haven't even found a new place to stay, if I don't find a place I have to go home which I absolutely do not want. Don't get me wrong I love home and I love Utah, but I'm not happy there, i'm happy here in Toronto.

I've been searching everywhere for a place to stay and apartments aren't very helpful, they are saying I need a Canadian cosigner to move into an apartment or I have to be currently enrolled in school. I only have a week left to find a place before it's good bye Toronto and hello hell life in Utah.

An Update

I know I haven't exactly been active with my blog recently. I will get more active, but at the moment i'm without a computer as mine decided to go kaput. It isn't working anymore and all i get is a blue screen, so i'm using my ex's laptop until i can get home to buy a new computer, but even that I'm not able to get online as much as i would like because when he's home from work we are always gone.

that's also the reason I haven't been able to update my 30 day challenge, but don't worry i'll get back to that soon I promise. I've also been having a lot of personal issues to deal with as well which is also taking up most of my time.

30 day challenge day 2

Day 2 - The meaning of my blog name.

It's basically just about all of my thoughts from things that have happened and all of the adventures i've gone on and all of the adventures i'm planning on going on in the future. It's a place where I can talk about what I think and feel as well as post about some of the things i've done in Utah and in Canada.

30 day challenge day 1

Day 1 -recent picture of you and 15 interesting facts about yourself

1. I was born in Alaska on July 24, 1986 (Pioneer Day in Utah)

2. I've lived in 6 different places, but most of life I've lived in Utah

3. I'm the youngest of 2

4. I can speak a little German, Spanish, Japanese and Sign Language (even though you don't speak it)

5. I broke my left thumb and had my tonsils removed in the same year and less then a month apart

6. I majored in Finance in College, but my true love has always been Sign Language

7. I used to hate the Spanish language and refused to take it in high school, but once I met my ex I got to love the Spanish language and i'm learning it.

8. Since I was little I never wanted to have kids and even to this day I still don't

9. I'm obsessive about numbers and I hate odd numbers except for 5, everything has to be even or a five otherwise it drives me crazy.

10. I have 2 phones and 3 phone numbers 2 Canadian and 1 US

11. I'm an avid tea drinker, i'm always drinking tea

12. I love reading books if I could I would read books all day long

13. I have trichotillomania meaning I pull my hair, it's not fun and it's something i've been working on stopping even though it's a hard process

14. I can type anywhere from 54-75 words a minute when i'm on the computer and i'm the only person in my family who can type without looking at the keyboard (I spend all of my time on the computer XD)

15. I love to go on trips especially road trips mainly because i'm getting away and I can look at the beautiful scenery and because I don't have to drive :D

Second Entry

I haven't posted here since 2009, I guess I get caught up in everything else that i forget this even exists. I will be doing more posting here I promise I just have to get to feeling better and then finding out what my next move in life will be.